2 Minute Read
Where We’d Meet
We’d meet for breakfast in Banksy’s The Walled Off Hotel in Bethlehem, which overlooks the barrier that separates Israel from the Palestinian territories
The 10-room hotel, with the strapline, The Worst View of any Hotel in the World, is the West Bank’s answer to the Waldorf. As well as a hotel it’s also a museum, a gallery and a living breathing piece of art, packed to the gunnels with Banksy artworks and the work of local artists.
What We’d Wear
Weirdly, we would both arrive wearing top-to-toe camouflage gear and very-obviously-false beards.
What We’d Eat and Drink
We’d share a breakfast of fruit and granola (which would get caught up in my beard), hummus, flatbreads and shakshoukeh (eggs poached in tomato sauce) topped up with a few strong coffees.
3 Things I’d Ask…and The Answers
Q1 Banksy, may I call you Banksy? He (or she) nods. It’s a thrill to meet you and an amazing experience to stay in The Walled Off Hotel. I’ve been wondering, do you have any plans for more Art Hotels? Perhaps, I chuckle, a pop-up castle in Windsor to coincide with Harry and Meghan’s wedding, or how about one on the lawn of The White House, called The Blonde House? Or, I laugh, really getting into the swing of things could your next trick be a swanky hotel in North Korea, where all the staff have Kim Jong-un haircuts?
Fantasy Answer No
Q2 Banksy, you are one of the most mysterious and controversial street artists of our time, covering urban spaces throughout the world with your satirical art, which has proved to be an effective way of getting people to think about what you have to say.
You’ve been called an artistic mastermind, a jerk, a visionary, a vandal, a genius and an overrated purveyor of Art Lite.
Would you like to take this opportunity to, once and for all, define how you see your place in the art world?
Fantasy Answer No
Q3 So Banksy, I’m fascinated with your identify and have read endless theories on who you might be. Could you be Robert Del Naja, the frontman of Massive Attack? Or, as some reports say, a group of seven artists led by a woman or then again, it’s been said you’re a parking attendant from Weston-super-Mare. This is your chance share with the world what we all want to know.
Banksy…Who Are You?
I hold my breath as Banksy leans in towards me and reaches up to his ear. As he starts to peel off his false beard he whispers “I am… suddenly he goes into a coughing spasm. It sounds like he’s chocking. I pass him a glass of water. He manages a sip but the coughing gets worse. I start to thump him on the back before the concierge appears, helps Banksy to his feet and leads him towards to door. As he leaves the breakfast room Banksy turns towards me, waves and winks.
I didn’t even get the chance to ask for his autograph.
Any suggestions for next Fantasy Dinner companion?
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