4 MINUTE READ
My name is Jill and I am a GINGER.
There, said it.
You might not know it if you were looking at me – over the years my hair has morphed from Neon Ginger to sorta Auburn Ginger + I have succumbed to societal pressure and had blonde highlights, but…
ONCE A GINGER – ALWAYS A GINGER
And I have the freckles, a drawer full of out-of-date sunscreen and the Psychological Scars to prove it.
Psychological Scars I hear all you Ginger Mockers gasp.
Yes, Psychological Scars my dear Non-Ginger Friend, for even now, in the 21st century when Society is more accepting and respectful of all the differences that human beings have in terms of age, race, religion, nationality, gender fluidity, sexuality, Milk or Dark chocolate preferences – still…
NOBODY LIKES A GINGER
And if you still don’t believe in Ginger Syndrome (ok, made that up but, I bet, psychologists would approve)…
YOU TRY… being called Carrots, Red, Bowie (was a 70s thing when Bowie went ginger to help our cause), Fanta Pants, Ginger Minger, Snaps, Ginga, Ginger Nuts and the best compliment you’ve ever had in your life was once being called a Carrot-Heided Babe.
YOU TRY… watching our A-list ginger heroes being the butt of jokes. When Prince Harry and Ed Sheeran and… ermmm Bonnie Langford (under 40? Google It) can’t escape mockery what hope for us lesser gingers. For crying out loud, Patti ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ Stanger won’t even help Gingers find a Millionaire to marry, as she considers us unworthy – hmmmff.
YOU TRY… wandering through Waterstones and coming across a book entitled Nobody Loves a Ginger Baby (rather a good read, as it happens)
YOU TRY… spending your 20s faking hilarity when your Gal Gang shouted in unison, GINGER ALERT whenever a ginger bloke walked into the pub – then rolled about laughing for next 20 minutes.
Yes indeed my non-ginger friends, YOU TRY being on the receiving end of all that…and then tell me Ginger Syndrome does not exist.
I have news for all Ginger Mockers…
Gingers have feelings too!
So in an attempt break down some barriers to and to put an end to Ginger Syndrome once and for all, here are 12 Lovable Things About Redheads
1. Unlike other hair colours, we Gingers have special days dedicated to us
…like Kiss a Ginger Day, Ginger Pride, Redhead Day and there’s even a Redhead Picnic. So Na Na Na Na Na to all you BLONDES and BRUNETTES
2. We are mutants
It’s a bit scientific and complicated but basically when both a mother and father both possess a genetic mutation of a gene called MC1R they have a 25% chance of having a ginger baby.
3. We are brave
So this little ol’ mutated MC1R gene releases a chemical called pheomelanin, which blocks the brains receptivity to pain, which means redheads have a higher pain threshold. Particularly handy for wars and childbirth.
4. …and rare
Only 2% of the world population have red hair. Scotland, at 13%, has the highest population of gingers with Ireland runner-up at 10%. Only 2% of the USA popular are blessed with ginger hair.
NB Neither Scotland or Ireland have ever won Miss Universe.
5. We spend a fortune on sunscreen
…and the best we can hope for is an Even Pink, after spending days lying on a sun-lounger.
6. Meh colours suit us best
Brown and beige and pea green all look particularly fetching on a redhead. Pinks and red and yellow don’t – but hell, that doesn’t stop me
7. There are tons of inspirational gingers
…including Elizabeth I, Vincent Van Gogh, Damien Lewis, Nicole Kidman, Prince Harry, Julianne Moore and, ermm Bonny Langford. Wiki has a whole PAGE dedicated to them.
8. Some people CHOOSE to be ginger
30% of women who dye their hair at home opt for a red shade. Famous dyed gingers include Rita Hayworth, Lucille Ball, Emma Stone, Cynthian Nixon and Christine Hendricks.
9. Gingers might become extinct
It’s that old pesky Climate Change again! Red hair doesn’t adapt to warm climates, so as the world warms up there could be a decline in the number of people with red hair. And then you’ll be sorry – won’t you!
10. There are special gifts for gingers
…like this rather ginger-tastic Colour Me Ginger Book
11. Redheads Can Help You Win The Lottery
…if you are Polish and you pass 3 redheads in a row you will win the lottery. Fact.
12. I can’t think of No. 12 but I’m sure there is one.
So in closing, I have a message for all Non-Gingers…
THINK TWICE before you ridicule another ginger
THINK TWICE before you crack another Ginger joke along the lines of….
Q: What’s the difference between a ginger and a vampire?
A: One is a pale, bloodsucking creature that avoids the sun. The other is a vampire.
Q: Why are the Harry Potter films unrealistic?
A: A ginger kid has 2 friends!
Q: How many Ginger people does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They prefer to sit in the dark.
Q: What do gingers look forward to later on in life?
A: Grey Hair
…OR on your head be it – for one day we GINGERS might just rise up in unison – one massive group of freckly, slippery (it’s all that sunscreen ) pale-ness – and take revenge on all the ginger-mockers.
On behalf of the 140 million gingers in the world, thank you for listening.
Don’t miss a trick – tune in every Saturday for more randomness & unsolicited advice – or better still, sign up for Regular Updates (above right). You’ll also find me on…