Random Thoughts During A Facial

A woman having a facial


Does anyone else suffer from endless Random Thoughts during a facial or massage making it nigh on impossible to relax during a Relaxation Treatment?

Here’s how a recent facial went down with me…

The Lovely Therapist: “Just lie down, shut your eyes and relax.”

Me: “Ok”  Lie down, shut eyes and The Brain goes off on one…

This therapist is so lovely. She seems to really know her stuff.
Oh, she had onions for lunch.
Oh Gawd, I had that Bean Salad.
Not sure about that music. It’s a bit loud. And Whale-y.
This bed is so cosy and warm. Wonder if it’s an electric blanket.
What’s that she’s putting on my forehead?
I wish she’d put a hairband on me. I wasn’t planning to wash my hair until Wednesday.
Don’t cough!


Does she really need to put the cleanser on to my ears? 
This bed is too hot. Should I ask if she can turn the heat down?  But then I might get cold.
I wish she’d apply a bit more pressure.
This thong must have shrunk in the wash. I wonder if The Lovely Therapist would notice if I fumble around and try to de-wedgie?
Why did she ask if I’m concerned about dehydrated skin?
Do I have dehydrated skin?
What is dehydrated skin?
I really wish I hadn’t had that Bean Salad for lunch.
Why didn’t I take off my jeans before she started? They are so tight.  I wonder if The Lovely Therapist would notice if I fumble around and try to undo the button?
Don’t fart!


Is she painting my face now?
What with?
Oh, keep doing that. No! Don’t stop.
Why does she need so much running water?
Is she washing dishes?
Oh, it was for this lovely hot towel. It’s really hot.
Arggg! I think I’ve got third-degree burns.
Oh, that’s nice.
It’s gone really quiet. Should I say something? Holiday plans? But I don’t think I can speak with this towel over my mouth.
I wish she’d apply a bit less pressure.
Tell me she’s not just rubbed that bloody oil into my scalp!
She bloody well has!  Now I’ll need to wash my hair tonight.
Oh, what’s that spritz-y thing for? It’s really cold.
I’m glad I didn’t ask her to turn off the electric blanket.
It smells lovely though. What is that?  Mint?  No, it’s Sage, or maybe it’s Basil.
I’m hungry. Think I’ll phone in a pizza tonight.  

Lovely Therapist:  “I’m just applying a serum and then I’ll finish off with this new day cream – it contains Hyaluronic Acid”

Me: “Thanks.”

What is serum?
And what is Hyaluronic Acid?
It sounds painful. 

Lovely Therapist: “That’s you now. How did you enjoy your facial?”

Me:  “Very relaxing, thank you.”

The End

Don’t miss a trick – tune in every Saturday for more randomness & unsolicited advice – or better still, sign up for Regular Updates (above right).  

You’ll also find me on…

Twitter @MidlifeSmarts

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MidlifeSmarts

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/midlifesmarts

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jillcreighton/



  1. 5 May 2018 / 8:52 am

    Hahaha! Thanks for the laugh! So relatable. You mentioned my pet peeve:
    “Tell me she’s not just rubbed that bloody oil into my scalp!
    She bloody well has! Now I’ll need to wash my hair tonight.”

    • Jill
      5 May 2018 / 8:58 am

      Funny! Yes I always come out looking worse than when I went in and oh I am such a fidget!

  2. 5 May 2018 / 8:53 am

    Jill, oh to have time for a facial or a massage lol! I think if i did, I’d fall asleep! But I know what you mean about the random thoughts!
    The last time I had that sort of pampering, the lady wrapped me up in mud slathered cloths and lowered me into this funky chamber…
    Then left me for half an hour.
    I had no way of moving my arms, or contacting anyone if I needed something!
    I was trying to relax and be all zen-like, but I ended up worrying about what happened if I drowned, or needed the loo… What if there was a fire alarm, and I couldn’t get out???
    Very relaxing…

    • Jill
      5 May 2018 / 9:08 am

      Oh that sounds like torture! The girl was probably off having lunch while you cooked 🙂 Cheers, for commenting.

  3. 5 May 2018 / 9:03 am

    Oh god!
    My mum bought me a pregnancy massage and by the time I got to take it I was 37 weeks. It was terrible. Just so many ridiculous thoughts going on in my brain, I couldn’t switch off from all the things I had to do and how much of a whale I was 😂

    • Jill
      5 May 2018 / 9:06 am

      Haha. The I try and relax the less I actually relax. I’m sure it’s really annoying for the therapist 🙂

  4. Sonia Boal
    5 May 2018 / 9:12 am

    Hilarious 😂
    I don’t often get a facial, but yeah a similar train of random thoughts here too.

    A thing though? Those things are like cheesewire at the best of times lol!

    • Jill
      5 May 2018 / 9:41 am

      Hahaha. I am such a fidget must be so annoying for the therapist. Yes thongs are the devil’s work!!

  5. 5 May 2018 / 9:25 am

    I love a good facial and I’m sure every one of your thoughts have gone through my head too. As for the stuff in your hair – my pet peeve – at least some of them ask!

    • Jill
      5 May 2018 / 9:41 am

      I do love a pampering treat but I always come away looking like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards. Jill x

  6. 5 May 2018 / 9:30 am

    Jill you are not alone!! I cannot stop ramblings like this during a massage. Don’t understand how people turn their inner monologue off.

    • Jill
      5 May 2018 / 9:38 am

      I am so fidgety. Yes it would be great to be ‘serene’ X

  7. 5 May 2018 / 10:34 am

    Oh Jill, my mind does similar things! You made me laugh with your random thoughts 😊

    • Jill
      5 May 2018 / 10:35 am

      Glad I’m alone 😂

  8. 5 May 2018 / 12:24 pm

    No #&*(. My mind takes off in the dentist chair. I have a facial once and I thought the same thoughts, Is this too hot? My hair. My breath etc. etc. I always enjoy a visit and my smile for the morning.

    • Jill
      5 May 2018 / 1:23 pm

      Haha – good to know I am not alone!! Jill

  9. 5 May 2018 / 12:42 pm

    Never really done the whole facial thing, but did have a pamper day after second son and I remember being asked exactly the same about dehydrated skin. Isn’t it the same with mindfulness – you know when they tell you to empty your mind and suddenly everything from tonight’s dinner to the dog to next week’s shopping pop in….you have given me a good laugh! xxx

    • Jill
      5 May 2018 / 1:24 pm

      Hi Claire – I had a laugh writing that. Great to know I am not the only one with random thoughts! Jil

  10. 5 May 2018 / 12:44 pm

    well, I never had facial done so I can only imagine. Does that signal overtly active mind?

    • Jill
      5 May 2018 / 1:25 pm

      Haha – yes I think it’s fair to say I have an overly active mind. Thanks for popping on. Jill PS tons of men have facial these days 🙂

  11. 5 May 2018 / 3:03 pm

    Wonderful! Exactly mirrors many of my massage experiences. There’s this one fellow who is very good at finding the muscles that need to relax but he is SO annoying. He keeps complimenting himself throughout the massage. I try not to mind. I try to offer the reassurance he’s looking for. But seriously—must shut up. The massage is about me not about how amazing your are. Next time I am going to charge him for the therapy session! (Shoot, even as I write that I feel bad.) I think I just need a new person. Probably better for us both!

    • Jill
      5 May 2018 / 3:09 pm

      Haha – good to get that off your chest. Yes some therapist talk constrantly which distracts me even more. I think I might need anasthetic 🙂 Jill

  12. 5 May 2018 / 3:04 pm

    Sounds like my random thoughts complete with fart.

  13. 6 May 2018 / 4:26 am

    I can say the same for any massage I’ve ever received. Thankfully I found a therapist I love and is so good I fall into a trance during massages.

    • Jill
      6 May 2018 / 9:38 am

      Hey Theresa I find it so hard to relax. Good to know you’ve found a great therapist. Jill

  14. 10 May 2018 / 2:29 pm

    “Don’t fart”! I howled when I read that. Great post! 🤣

    • Jill
      10 May 2018 / 2:31 pm

      Oh thanks for all your lovely comments and support. Jx

  15. 10 May 2018 / 10:30 pm

    I can relate to the wedgie sensation & the effort not to fart! LOL! I had seaweed treatment for my dry hands once – I had seaweed wrapped around my hands sealed with aluminium foil for half an hour. It is a weird prickly/itchy sensation and the urge to scratch and rip off the foil is enormous but as both hands were mummified, it is impossible to do anything but endure it. I had all sorts of things running through my mind at the time – similar in vein to your thoughts! 😀

    • Jill
      11 May 2018 / 7:50 am

      Oh that seaweed treatment sounds like torture. I find it impossible to lie still and empty my mind – zen-like 🙂 JIllx

  16. 11 May 2018 / 2:01 am

    So funny! I think I’ll schedule a massage just to take note of my random thoughts.

    • Jill
      11 May 2018 / 7:54 am

      Haha. I do feel sorry for any therapist who have to deal with me. I am such a fidget!! JIll x

  17. 19 May 2018 / 12:19 pm

    😂😂😂😂😂… this is hilarious… I definitely have random thoughts about any and everything…it’s anxiety inducing even… especially when she’s clankingly with things that in my mind sound lije surgical instruments🙈

    • Jill
      20 May 2018 / 6:54 am

      Haha yes it is a bit like surgial instruments. I’ve never thought of that before. Another thing to think about as I ‘relax’!! Thanks for popping by. JIll

  18. 18 March 2019 / 11:40 am

    Great Random Thought of Facial…. Else i wanted to share this valuable message for my near and Dear that will so, Helpful…:)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Let’s connect on Instagram