3 MINUTE READ
Now I admit I’m quite an extreme morning person. I don’t do eye-rubbing, stretching, adjusting to daylight or yawning. I certainly don’t do lie-ins. The second I’m awake, generally, when dawn breaks and the birds start a’ chirping (we’re talking 4.40am in the summer) I’m like a whippet out of a cage.
I can go from REM sleep to saying the alphabet backwards, or tackling my tax return, in about 60 seconds.
They say (who they… probably Google) that morning people are born in the morning and night people at night. Pile of piffle. I was born at 10.20pm and have never knowingly slept after 7.30am since I was 22.
I know that morning people are beyond annoying for non-morning people. but hold a minute JUDGEY-NIGHT-PEOPLE, there are some major pluses to being a lovely lark
- You’re always first in the queue at the post office
- You actually enjoy jet lag – it makes your sleep pattern more normal
- You can catch call-centres two seconds after they open thus avoiding a 40-minute wait while you listen to soft porn music, before speaking to someone who is completely demoralized after hours of people moaning at them all day. Get in first thing and you can renegotiate your car insurance, switch utility provider and have a perfectly pleasant chat with someone at Virgin Media – all before 8.45am.
- While your energy is sky-high you can cram in some exercise – ideally a 30-minute walk on a beautiful spring morning, when delivery guys are doing their rounds, joggers are hard at it, strangers mouth a morning and the world is, generally, just peachy.
- You can send out 11 emails before anyone is at their desk and by 9.30am, be tucking into a mid-morning snack and catching up on Facebook while you wait for responses
- When you encounter other morning people you have an immediate bond. I suspect it’s a bit like UKIP-supporters or the Masons you can spot each other everywhere – a colleague replying to your sub-6.30am email – hey, didn’t know you were a morning person, that neighbor taking their bins out at 6.50am – a silent but knowing nod, or that woman with the fancy legging at the 7 am yoga class –Namaste fellow weird morning person. Without a shared word you know the challenges they face in this world of non-morning-people, the derision of night people, waking at dawn and not having had a lie-in since 1986
And the drawbacks?
- Night people hate you.
- You have lunch at 11.30am, dinner at 4.45, your brain turns to mush after 5.30 (you can’t say the alphabet forwards) and you’re ready for bed a 9.30.
- When you go on a weekend break with friends no-one wants to share a room with you because you get up so early – immediately taking you back to 1979 and the humiliation of being last to be picked for the school netball team.
- You’ve never seen Graham Norton Live.
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