Gadgets…dontcha just love ’em.
But then again, they can be so annoying that they trigger a nervous twitch.
Here’s my Top 3…and some I’d like to throw on the floor and jump up and down on
Whoever invented these deserve at least a Nobel Prize and a free daily delivery of the chocolate biscuit of their choice…they make my hair almost normal.
I love it. I want to kiss it every morning when it quietly makes me a lovely hot coffee and simultaneously froths up some milk. It’s just soooo George Clooney. Slim, stylish with no unnecessary attachments to wash (I do not wish to imply that George has no unnecessary attachments to wash – you’d really have to speak to Amal about that).
The only problem is picking coffee pods. There are tons to choose from and over-choice tends to give me a tension headache.I could, of course, order a Selection Box (not sure that’s what they are called) from Nespresso but they’re about £40 and I can’t really get my head round ordering coffee and waiting for it to arrive a week on Tuesday, when I actually quite fancy a coffee like now-ish.
I guess I could visit one of the Nespresso
shops , sorry boutiques but I always feel a bit under-dressed. They’re one of the swankiest spots in the world, it’s like going to the bar in an uber cool hotel where Barak & Michelle might be hanging out with David & Victoria. They are staffed by Armani-clad, almost-models, who talk so knowledgeably about Nespresso Grand Crus that I feel I should be taking notes; on the plus side, they will happily make you a lovely (free) coffee, called something like Rosabaya de Colombia, and give you some chocolate mint thins (which are very nice)
Morrisons do perfectly good compatible pods in a sensible box for about £2.50 for 12.
My iPhone and Mac
I LOVE them
NOT SO FAVOURITES…
My TV Doofer
…or should I say doofers. I have at least three and possibly a fourth down the side of the sofa. I have no idea what they are all for, however, I am convinced the main one is possessed by the devil. It simply will not respond to anything that I ask it to do. I’ve tried changing the batteries, pressing every button in every possible order and throwing it against the wall, but really the only thing that works is switching off the TV and Hub-thing at the mains, waiting ten minutes (this is my default solution for any electrical item that’s not working) then starting from scratch, by which time I’ve gone off the idea of watching a Rosemary & Thyme repeat.
Oh and while I’m here, when I shout HOME at the Alexa voice control on my Fire TV Stick it hears it as PORN.
Is just me, or no matter where you are going, THEY (the Sat Nav bastards) always want to take you to the Tesco car park in Glenrothes. My sat nat is particularly annoying…here’s how it tends to go with me, and old Sat-y.
I spend ages finding the postcode of where I am going, then another ages entering it into the rotten keyboard thing. Then all goes quiet… for at least another ages. At first, I pretend to ignore it and get organised for the journey….
Mirror. Signal. Lipstick.
Then I put on my seatbelt and fumble in my bag for a mint. Then I look at old Sat-y-drawers, willing it to do something, but nothing; not so much as throat-clearing. After giving my window screen a good squooshing I lose patience and start driving in a random direction hoping to kick it into action. Finally, about a mile into an aimless drive HE (for it is a he) pipes up…
Do you want to start navigation?
At this point, I swear loudly and shout (yes, I have a proper argument with the Sat Nav)…
“Start navigation? Why on earth would you think that? Au contraire…I’d like to chat through the potential implications of the current state of Brexit talks.”
“Start navigation? Why no, I’d actually like to order a Hawaiian pizza and a Ripple then catch up on The People vs OJ Simpson”
OR, if I am really annoyed…
“Start navigation? Yes, please…IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I’VE BEEN IN THE TESCO SODDING CAR PARK IN GLENROTHES!!!”
So now, my friend, I’ve gone back to the ways of old. The ways that saw our ancestors evolve and advance and thrive… I Google the route, print off the directions, spike them on my gear stick and off I toddle.
My iPhone and Mac
I HATE them
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