4 MINUTE READ
Last week I sat on my specs. Not for the first time, but this time they’re a goner. The legs are splayed so wide that they would only fit a supersize face – Harvey Weinstein’s, for example, but fortunately, he’s not lurking about anywhere in the vicinity, in a stained toweling robe.
So I needed to buy get a new pair of glasses.
Easier than it sounds.
If anything in life is guaranteed to give you an over-choice headache it’s shopping for glasses.
There are THOUSANDS, nay, MILLIONS, of frames to choose from and at first sight, they all look pretty similar….blurred (boom boom) . No seriously, there are tons of options stainless steel, aluminum, plastic, wood – and a shape for every face cats eye, square, round, rimless, flat-top, aviator, Dame Edna.
Overwhelmed? Me too. But my rather random tips might help
Tap in How to buy new glasses and Capt’n-Bloody-Obvious Google says pick a pair that suits your face shape (d’oh) …then lots of graphics like this will pop up.
Looks handy eh – but actually, it just highlights a whole new problem….
What is my face shape?
I spent some time peering in the mirror trying to decide. Definitely not round (which was a bit of a relief). I squinted, screwed up my nose, turned sideways, then peered some more.
Why Oh Why couldn’t I be blessed with an obvious, in-your-face, face shape like Reese Witherspoon’s perfect heart-shape or Victoria Beckham’s downward pointy Triangle or Rihanna’s (ermm) Like a Diamond.
I canvassed some friends and they all came up with different answers so I eventually concluded that I have a sort of oblong-y face that’s square-ish at the top and heart-shaped at the bottom – which means (in theory) means that I SUIT ALL THE SPECTACLES IN THE WORLD …except rectangular ones. Which didn’t help much.
Try some on
When I say some, I mean hundreds and eliminate what you hate. I quickly realised that crystals aren’t for me. Or brightly coloured wacky frames (do they suit anyone?). Try and narrow it down to 5 pairs, then take selfies….I know I felt like a twat too.
TOP TIP – unless you’re angling for a divorce or trying to end a friendship DO NOT take anyone with you….there’s very little in life duller than watching someone trying on 322 spectacle frames.
Set a budget
And don’t forget that the price-tag is generally just for the frame. You still have to fork out for the actual lenses.
To Brand or Not To Brand?
Let’s be honest – we all love the word Chanel emblazoned all over us. But do you really need it or Dior or Gucci in diamanté on the leg of your specs? Maybe you do – but don’t be surprised when you have to pay an extra £150 for the privilege then feel like a bit of a mug when you find out that most designer glasses are made by a couple of specialist makers (just Google Luxottica) and branded up. But hey, I won’t judge….I’ve got a Chanel lipstick.
Try more on
This time take a friend/ husband/lover… or all three – and get their thoughts on your shortlisted 5. Then try on another 20 pairs. And take some more selfies.
And look at the selfies.
MAKE A BLOODY DECISION
…then negotiate. Ask for a discount. Say your budget is 20% less than the cost of the frames. If they won’t budge on price ask if they will give you a free pair of reading glasses or at least a box of chocolates
Decide on lenses
OMG, just when you thought you’d smashed this glasses buying malarky and can go home and watch Strictly you find out that you need to choose lenses. This bit is rather technical and hard to explain eg I don’t understand it – so, get advice from an optician (rather than buying online –which is obviously cheaper) or read stuff like THIS and factor in anything from £40 – £300
So, you’re dying to know, what did I go for?
Wellllll actually… THE ONES IN THE SALE
See, it was like this, I was on my way to meet a friend, minding my own business when I walked past an optician and spotted those 4 magical words, that make me buy things (like vegetable spiralizers)…LESS THAN HALF PRICE.
So I burst in, tried a pair of Tom Ford frames reduced from £297(!!!) to £90 and promptly bought them – without so much as taking even a selfie or considering if they actually suited me. The lenses set me back a further £85.
I like them. They don’t fall off my face. But I think they might be a bit rectangular-y!
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