GUYS: How to buy HER an OMG Christmas Gift SHE’LL love

GUYS: How to buy HER an OMG Christmas Gift SHE’LL love


GALS, feel free to print out, highlight the bits that you like, then leave it near the toilet for him to read…it’ll save him a lot of stressing and you, a lot of disappointment.

Hello Boys.  News flash – Christmas is coming and you know what that means.

Yep, you need to go shopping. No, don’t get scared. With my Gift Buying Guide you’ll sail through it and be enjoying a nice pint of lager and Waching Match of the Day within a couple of hours, having snapped up a gift that your missus will LOVE.

So here goes.

Tune In To Hints From November Onwards

An efficient woman (and let’s be honest most of us are) will start hinting about what she wants for Christmas in mid to late November.

Your job is to tune in to those hints.

These are Hints…

When you return home from a night out with friends and she says….Did you notice Amy’s earrings? They are beautiful. I love diamond stud earrings.

She is flicking through a magazine exclaims, loudly ….OMG.. Mulberry (that’s a company that makes bags) has the Lily  (that’s a style of bag – they are often called woman’s names) in Dark Frozen (that’s a colour).  It’s sooooo gorgeous.

As you head out to the supermarket she nonchalantly remarks. My winter coat is getting really tired looking. I really need a new one.  Fifteen minutes later, as she squeezes a cantaloupe melon, she saysI love red coats.  Then the next morning she says, rather randomlyWhistles have some really lovely coats


These Are NOT Hints…

That sodding toaster is on the blink again

The vacuum cleaner is f*cked

I really need to get some anti-freeze for my car

DO NOT Shop Online

…unless you are super-organised.

If you think you can rock up to your laptop on the 22nd of  December, order that red coat from Whistles and it will arrive all nicely gift wrapped on Christmas Eve… sorry buster, you are sadly mistake

1. It will be sold out

2. Unless you order before the 1st of December it’s highly likely that it won’t arrive until the 3rd of January – which, incidentally is known as Divorce Day by solicitors, as it’s the most popular date for splitting up. Now you know why.

3. Even if, by some miracle, the coat is available and can be delivered on time – who exactly  is going to be in to receive the parcel?

Repeat after me..I Will Not Go Shopping on Christmas Eve

Why not? I hear you grumble.

Let’s put it this way… imagine you had a ticket for the Cup Winners Cup Winners Cup Cup Final…  would you set off for the match 5 minutes before the games kicks off?

No you would not!!  

Well Christmas shopping is EVEN MORE IMPORTANT. 

Christmas Eve shopping is horrible. You will want to cry. You are better than that.

Always Buy a Woman Something That Can Be Worn After Dark 

No we’re not talking winceyette pyjamas and slippers.   Think – jewellery, handbags, perfume, makeup and TASTEFUL sleepwear

Christmas Gift Buying Tips for Men

Go Easy on The Underwear

If you can pull off  the right colour, size and fabric then you’ve got my vote for Man of the Year.

Here are some pointers  –

A red & black combo rarely works. Black, white and creams are safe choices

Fabric is important. Silk is always a winner. Anything that is likely to create static is a no no.

 If you do find yourself in the underwear department NEVER use the word panties. It’s verging on pervy. Pants is better.

Ditto on Clothes and Shoes  

If you know what she likes  – the store, her size (no guessing) and colour then go for it. But, just to be on the safe side, get a gift receipt – then she can go and pick something she really likes.

Surprises Are Great…Within Reason

If you have arranged a surprise long weekend to Tenerife – well done. 10/10.  But don’t expect her to fly off on Boxing Day.

Christmas Gift Buying Tips for Men
No! No! No!

Do you really think we are sitting about in the depth of winter beach-body-ready, with perfectly gelled nails, exfoliated bodies and waxed bikinis?

I know you probably didn’t understand all of that last sentence, but basically it takes a woman a bit of time to get ready for a break…give her at least 4 days notice.

Do not buy a gift that YOU secretly want.

Think you can get away with palming off that giant telly as her Christmas gift? You can’t.  She will know. Same goes for a La-Z-Boy chair or a year ‘s subscription to Golf Monthly. In fact the same goes for ANYTHING WITH A PLUG – unless she has specifically requested a new laptop, GHD Hairdryer or Nespresso machine

WARNING: Do NOT be tempted to buy anything that smacks of improving the woman in your life.

Yes we might go on about out weight, hair, fitness wrinkles but that DOES NOT MEAN we want anything with Age–Defying written on it OR anything to do with Hair Removal or Weight Loss.  As for an (unasked for) gym membership or voucher for Botox – are you certifiable?

On A Budget? You’re on to a Winner.

You can still be romantic on a budget. In fact you can be even more romantic.

So…find a lovely photograph of you together (keep it clean) get yourself down to the local Snappy Snaps, buy a frame and get a print made. The nice girl in the shop will put it all together for you.   All you have to do is put it in a gift bag with a tag that says To The Love of My LIfe.

Christmas Gift Buying Tips for Men

It will cost you less than a tenner and I PROMISE it will go down a storm.

Other inexpensive gifts that will never go wrong include candles, a book by her favourite author, hand cream, a voucher for a pamper at the local beauty place, flowers, a DVD of the first movie you ever saw together, a calendar with your significant dates (date you met, married, birthdays) highlighted. You get the picture.

So there you have it – Christmas Sorted.


Don’t miss a trick – tune in every Saturday for more randomness & unsolicited advice – or better still, sign up for Regular Updates (above right).  You’ll also find me on…

Twitter @MidlifeSmarts







  1. Stuart C
    25 November 2017 / 9:15 am

    Oops! Thought I’d been nailing it all these years. Glad I read this early enough to have a word with the guy at the petrol station about getting in some better stock – he’s got four weeks til Christmas Eve.

    • Jill
      25 November 2017 / 9:17 am

      Hahaha. Make sure you take the price off!

  2. 25 November 2017 / 9:16 am

    Printing copies and leaving them all over the house! Many thanks.

    • Jill
      25 November 2017 / 9:17 am

      Ha! Thanks for commenting. Had fun with that one. X

  3. 25 November 2017 / 9:47 am

    Haha I really love this! I can think of a few men who could really benefit from reading this 😉
    Jas xx

    • Jill
      25 November 2017 / 9:55 am

      Hey Jas, thanks for that. Really enjoyed writing that one. Jill x

  4. 25 November 2017 / 9:48 am

    Think I’ll be forwarding this to Hubby Dearest Lol!!!

    • Jill
      25 November 2017 / 9:55 am

      Hey Ritu – nice to hear from you. And yes ping it on to him 🙂 JIll

  5. 25 November 2017 / 10:03 am

    So this needs to be distributed wide and far…😀 especially the clothes part!!

    • Jill
      25 November 2017 / 10:05 am

      Haha. Yes I’ve done the old Returning The Gift in January a few times 🙂 Thanks for swinging by Jx

  6. 25 November 2017 / 10:45 am

    I love this post! Will definitely be leaving this for hubby to find. 🙂

    • Jill
      25 November 2017 / 10:46 am

      Thanks Judy. Enjoying writing it. Thanks for swinging by

  7. 25 November 2017 / 11:45 am

    Thank you! I am, according to my wife, in need of exactly this advice. Hopefully I’ll do better this year.

    • Jill
      25 November 2017 / 11:47 am

      Ha. Thanks for commenting. All rather tongue in cheek 😀. Jill

    • Jill
      26 November 2017 / 9:35 am

      Hi Phil thanks for popping by and reading. All a bit tongue in cheek but fun to write. Good luck with the shopping. JIll

  8. 25 November 2017 / 1:22 pm

    I love it. You had me laughing “nothing with a plug” no joke. Maybe we should send your post as a link to his email???

    • Jill
      26 November 2017 / 9:34 am

      Hi Amelia thanks for popping by and commenting. Yep it’s time for some heaving hinting. Have a good day. Jill

  9. 25 November 2017 / 1:23 pm

    Seems like really hard work 🙁 Unfortunately I doubt any of this will be useful to me or mine. My daughter likes earrings and just puts the picture of those she likes on facebook – ‘Can I have these for Christmas?’

    Haha fun post!

    • Jill
      26 November 2017 / 9:33 am

      Ha! Thanks for popping by and commenting. Your daughter sounds like she’s got it sussed. I didn’t think of that one 🙂 JIll

  10. 25 November 2017 / 2:43 pm

    A humorous take on Christmas shopping 🙂 We haven’t bought presents for each other for a few years, though we do treat ourselves to something yummy or upgrade the accommodation for a change!

    • Jill
      26 November 2017 / 9:32 am

      Hi Suz it’s all a bit tongue in cheek but I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for swinging by and commenting and hope the upgraded accomodation goes well. JIll

  11. 25 November 2017 / 3:03 pm

    I love the idea of being whisked away for a weekend, but do agree–let’s be thoughtful about when and where! My husbands does a nice job of paying attention to hints–I think he considers it a point of husbandly pride. However, I may just send him this post, just in case. 🙂

    • Jill
      26 November 2017 / 9:31 am

      Hi Angela, Thanks for swinging by and commenting. He sounds like a keeper! Good luck on the hinting front. JIll

  12. 25 November 2017 / 4:06 pm

    Love your tips! I remember an old boyfriend who always bought me something he wanted. That’s why he soon became an old boyfriend. Ha!

    • Jill
      26 November 2017 / 9:30 am

      Oh that old trick – we can spot that a mile off! Thanks for swinging by and commenting. JIll

  13. 25 November 2017 / 5:31 pm

    Bummer about the “vacuum cleaner is f*cked” not being a hint about the “OMG I Love it” christmas gift. It’s already on the list;)

    • Jill
      26 November 2017 / 9:29 am

      Ha! Thanks for swinging by and commenting. Good luck with the shopping!! Jill

  14. 26 November 2017 / 8:05 am

    Dammit. I thought the only way to make shopping even a tiny bit exciting was to be doing it so close to the deadline.

    There’s always a supermarket open selling chocs of some sort on the way home too, even a Mars bar from a garage at a push.
    (Then magically they have mountains of proper ones at cut price on Boxing Day? Bastards.)

    • Jill
      26 November 2017 / 9:28 am

      HAHA. Supermarket are always a last resort. It’s just 29 days to Christmas. Time to hit the shops! Thanks for swinging by.

  15. 26 November 2017 / 8:39 am

    Am totally printing this out & subtly leaving this out someone for HIM to read. Excellent advice.

    • Jill
      26 November 2017 / 9:27 am

      Hi Harley thanks for commenting. Yep, highlighter pen at the ready! JIll

  16. 26 November 2017 / 9:13 am

    I’m tempted to print this whole article and give it to my husband to read. Every year he goes out 2-3 days before Christmas to get my presents whereas I’ve bought mine a few month’s ahead! We’ve done Christmas on a budget before and I’ve found that we are more imaginative with our gifts, ans it can be fun that way 😀

    • Jill
      26 November 2017 / 9:26 am

      Thanks for that. I read recently that men spend a whole 3 hours prepaing for Christmas! Yep, 3 hours. LOL! Thanks for commenting

  17. 26 November 2017 / 9:37 am

    Christmas shopping is more important than football!!!? Surely not.
    And what’s Christmas Eve for if not for shopping?
    Also, Amazon dispatches packages seconds after you’ve ordered on line (even before you’ve ordered in some cases) – I’ve seen the advert with all those happy singing parcels.
    You are right in one respect – Christmas shopping does make me cry. (Well any shopping actually)

    • Jill
      26 November 2017 / 9:39 am

      Hi Dave, Of course shepping is more important that football. 🙂 Good luck with the shopping. Just 29 days to go! Jill

  18. 26 November 2017 / 12:53 pm

    Waiting until Christmas Eve. Years ago, I mean years, when cell phones were still installed in cars and bag phones were becoming more popular because of the transportable-ness of them, my company ran a special on a specific bag phone for December. We ran out by mid-December and started offering rain checks (for January) or substituting a different brand–a higher end, more expensive phone for the cheaper price. I will never forget a rep talking to a man who was screaming at her on Christmas Eve because he had no present for his wife. He refused the substitution which was actually a better phone. He was trying to get all sorts of credits out of us which we were not giving. He was screaming that he couldn’t give her a rain check for Christmas and the Rep finally said: “Well maybe sir, you shouldn’t have waited until Christmas Eve to buy your wife a present.”

    • Jill
      26 November 2017 / 2:55 pm

      Haha love that rep!! Great story. Thnanks for popping by and commenting. Jill

  19. 26 November 2017 / 5:14 pm

    OMG. This was hilarious!

    • Jill
      26 November 2017 / 5:16 pm

      Oh cheers. That Means a lot as I love your humour.

  20. 26 November 2017 / 7:42 pm

    Excellent! I will be taking your advice and printing out to stick somewhere prominent. One year my husband bought me Molten Brown hand wash and cream with a lovely stand, but he then informed me it was to go in the downstairs loo! Not a present for me at all! He needs help 😄

    • Jill
      26 November 2017 / 7:44 pm

      Haha. That’s so funny. That defo falls under category to trying to slip in household purchase as Christmas gift. Not allowed 😂. Thanks for popping by.

  21. 27 November 2017 / 10:01 am

    Loved this – especially #9 – NEVER buy a gym membership! I would also add that a friend of mine who’s husband bought her clothes ended up leaving her for a man – we have always been suspicious of men with good taste in women’s clothes ever since!

    • Jill
      27 November 2017 / 10:02 am

      Haha. That’s so funny. Thanks for reading and commenting. Love your stuff. Jill.

  22. 28 November 2017 / 12:37 pm

    Haha, great article! All these things could totally apply to my boyfriend. I think I will have to send this post to him 😉

    • Jill
      28 November 2017 / 12:49 pm

      Hey Johanne thanks for commenting. Try dropping major hints !! Jill

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Let’s connect on Instagram