5 MINUTE READ
Does anyone else find themselves scurrying down the Airport Security zig-zag lines, desperately stuffing anything remotely liquid-ey into the tiniest of plastic bags, gulping down the last drops of water before bin-ing the plastic bottle, and screaming at complete strangers…
IS LIPSTICK A LIQUID?
Oh, that’s a relief… I thought I was the only unhinged one.
Honestly, I try to be an organised traveller; I long to be one of those effortlessly Glide-y Women, who have spent the previous week shopping for travel-sized toiletries, which fit nicely into their new toilet bag, which fits nicely inside their sensible Longchamp travel bag. Instead, determined as I am to Not to Pay for Hold Luggage, I hit the airport like the Bag Lady of Alcatraz, sweating buckets under layers of clothing and invariably end up playing tug-of-war over my new Bobbi Brown lipstick, with an overzealous Security Operative.
So for the benefit of all Lipstick-Wearing Flyers here is the definitive guide on…
What is a Liquid… and How to Glide Through Security Like An A-Lister
How Much Liquid Can I Take?
The total amount of liquid you can take in hand luggage is 1 litre. Now don’t be thinking you can rock up with a litre bottle of Irn-Bru. No siree! All liquids must in individual containers maximum size 100ml and all your containers and other liquids must fit into a clear, plastic bag no bigger than 20cm x 20cm (which the airport supply). That dinky wee bag must be seal-able – which means no cans of dry shampoo (marvellous stuff) sticking out the top!
So What is a Liquid?
Well, according to the UK Government Liquids are defined as:
- all drinks, including water
- liquid or semi-liquid foods, for example soup, jam, honey and syrups
- cosmetics and toiletries, including creams, lotions, oils, perfumes, mascara and lip gloss
- sprays, including shaving foam, hairspray and spray deodorants
- pastes, including toothpaste
- gels, including hair and shower gel
- contact lens solution
- any other solutions and items of similar consistency
Gee thanks Mr UK Government, but frankly I’ve never met anyone who takes honey or soup on holiday and I‘ve yet to meet a woman who doesn’t take at least 1 lipstick – so your guidance still leaves us all running around security screaming – Is Lipstick A Liquid? – at complete strangers, which really can’t be good for National Security.
And my friends, just to add to the Lipstickgate confusion it turns out that AIRPORTS DON’T KNOW EITHER! Those canny folks at Money Saving Expert recently Surveyed 9 UK Airports (so I didn’t have to) and found that, of the 4 Airports that answered (5 declined), 2 consider lipstick a liquid and want you to put it in your plastic bag, while the other 2 don’t. And don’t get me started on bronzer!
DO THESE ITEMS NEED TO BE PUT IN TO LIQUID BAGS?
Which leaves us all baffled as to whether we will get our stash of lippy through security.
May I humbly suggest, Mr Government, that you forget Brexit for just 10 minutes, hold a meeting and decide, once and for all, IS LIPSTICK A LIQUID?...and let us know pronto. Summer is almost here!
MIDLIFE SMARTS DEFINITIVE LIPSTICK ADVICE
Do like the Glide-y Women, and get yourself a 20 x 20cm plastic bag (you can get them on Google or an appropriately sized Sandwich or Freezer Bag will do) and the night before you fly practice stuffing all your liquids, including all your lipsticks, in it.
Don’t take anything with you that won’t fit in the bag – unless you’re willing to lose it.
What About Stuff I Buy At the Airport or on a Flight?
So just to add to the confusion you CAN take alcohol, perfume or any other liquids that you buy in airport duty-free stores or on an airplane, through security, even they are in over 100ml
BUT – this is the important bit – they must be unopened and sealed in an airport security bag with a visible receipt. So don’t do like me and open your new perfume on a flight, spray it all over yourself and your friends and the woman in aisle seat who asked for a squoosh, BECAUSE, when you try and go through security for your connecting flight, Mr Security won’t be happy and might very well confiscate your lovely new perfume.
What About Medicines and Baby Stuff?
If you have to take essential medicines or skin creams when you travel, you can have them in your cabin baggage and they can be more than 100ml, providing you have either your prescription or a note from your doctor explaining why you need them – which you must show them to staff as you go through security. Don’t think you can blag it by showing Mr Security some random rash on your inner thigh. Rules is Rules!
If you are travelling with a baby you’re allowed to take enough baby food, baby milk and sterilised water for the journey – which is some cases can be over 100ml.
Lighters? Yep, for some bizarre reason, you can take a lighter – those things that produce fire – on a flight. Given that you aren’t allowed to smoke on board, the only reason I can imagine that you’d need a lighter would be to light the fuse on a cartoon-y bomb – which is definitely a No No – even the Government rules are clear on that one.
Lipstick. Lighter. I know which one sounds more dangerous to me. Just saying.
What Should I Wear?
Gucci, darling. Kidding. Wear what you like but EXCEPT…
Boots – your feet will swell during the flight and you’ll never get them back on.
Socks with holes in them – you’ll thank me when you have to remove your shoes to go through the security scanner.
Underwear with Diamonte Bits (that includes you too boys) you’ll set off the scanner and set yourself up for a thorough frisking.
PS I’m chuffed to bits that I’ve has been nominated in The Funniest Blogger Category in The Annual Bloggers Bash Awards. If you feel inclined you can vote for Midlife Smarts on this link. Thanx x
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