4 MINUTE READ
Did you see that photograph of Dolly Parton, Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda at the Emmys?
Not only do they look WAAAAAAAY better than they did 37 years ago (yep 37 – in the movie 9 to 5), but much more fun and mischevious.
No doubt there’s some Spanx action going on I’m guessing they’ve all had a little bit of work (love that euphemism) but Holy Septuagenarian, it’s still a bit of a jaw-dropper.
And it’s not just slebs who seem to have stopped aging. Pop into your local hairdresser/beauty parlour (and I love that term) and you’ll see your average hard-workin’, home-lovin’, child-rearin’ 53-year-old, almost-granny stepping out looking about 39.
Meantime all 37 year-olds look about 26 and 18 year-olds look – well actually, most of them look about 26 too.
It’s got me thinking…
Why does nobody look 47 anymore?
So, just in case you’re curious – here’s my theory…
Celebrity Influence
No female sleb – not even The Queen or Olivia Coleman – looks their age. BUT that’s relatively new – check out photographs of yesteryear’s A-Listers when they reached their 40s, 50s, and 60s and beyond. Yeah, Joan Crawford, Judy Garland, Elizabeth Taylor had fancy fur coats, big makeup & hair and chihuahuas and had star written all over them – but basically, they all looked their age.
Now, well now we’ve got all these A- and B-Listers, right down to…well right down to the randoms on Celebrity Big Brother who look pretty amazing and get us mere mortals thinking …
Halle Berry is about my age and looks fantastic. I’m off to get my nails done.
If Helen Mirren* can rock it a bikini then I’m going for a brisk walk around the park and I’ll pass on that packet of Revels.
Well if Judy Dench can talk about sex in your 80s then I’m signing up for Tinder and getting my hair coloured.
Personally, I’ve taken a vow that as long as Madonna continues to gyrate on stage with male dancers 35 years her junior, then I’m going to keep shaving my legs, tinting my eyelashes and going to yoga.
Time
Remember the olden days when getting ready for a big night out (Out Out) took about 20 minutes – brush hair, apply makeup, get dressed. Now, jeez, it’s a 10-day countdown – exercise, juice detox (remember how much fun that was!), plumping, slimming, eyebrows, shave legs, fake tan, blow dry, corn plasters. You need a spreadsheet, a planning app and….
Money
All of the above plus good underwear (vital), a great haircut and regular trips to the gym costs £££££££
Knowledge
In our grandmother’s day women would quietly pass on their beauty secrets to each other like…brush your hair 100 times each night to make it shine or Right Betty, pinch your cheeks, we’re off to the dancin’
Now, well there’s information overload.
Of course, we all know the basics…
Water is good
Sleep is very good
Stress is bad
Alcohol is very bad
But if there’s something specific we want to sort then the answer can be found with the tap of the keyboard –
Want to get rid of your bingo wings in 14 days?.
Yep
READ THIS
Need to lose 4 lbs in 2 weeks?
Yep
WATCH THIS
Fancy rockin’ Drag Queen makeup?
Ermmm not really
DO THIS ANYWAY
And finally…Science
No, don’t switch off because I’ve used the S word.
We should all get down on our knees and thank those clever, white-coated people, who understood how to use Bunsen Burners in school, for giving us teeth whitening, gel nails, GHDs, Spanx and all those makeup products & beauty treatments, most of us don’t know what to do with – highlighter, shiner, brow gel, eye-lash perms (WTF), primer, highlighter,, shiner, de-shiner and the endless brushes. Not to mention botox, filler, peels and all the other secrets of the aesthetician’s box of tricks.
And while we are here… can I just take a moment to personally thank the genius who invented hair serum. Thank you.
So even if you just adopt a few of these techniques for a night out or a trip to your local high street, you’ll whip 10 years off your age. And that, dear reader, is why no-one looks 47 anymore.
THE END
*If Helen Mirren happens to be reading, can you please DM me your secrets. I won’t tell anyone. Promise!
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I love this post, Jill. ‘as long as Madonna continues to gyrate on stage with male dancers 35 years her junior, then I’m going to keep shaving my legs, tinting my eyelashes and going to yoga.’ haha this is going to be my new mantra! Great post x
Author
Hey Shelley thanks for that. Love your feedback Jx
More great fun Jill. Odd though, I like to
think i look 47……at 82?
Author
HI Joyce that’s funny. You DO look 47 x
I love the attitude in this post! Never say “I’m looking older!” I remember my grandmother getting ready for a function and saying to herself in the mirror, “Well old woman, I guess you’d better put some makeup on that wrinkly face.” I’m very close to her age when I heard her say it, and I refuse to give in. Long live spanks and beauty products! And posts like this to spur me on…
Author
Hey Melody thanks for your lovely comments. Spanx Rock! x
Well, if I am going to write (and look) as well as you when I’m on my mid life then I can’t wait! I love this article and I love the way you write, your personality is shining through every single word..
Keep on writing cause I am subscribing to your mailing list 🙂
Author
Oh thanks for your lovely comment and for subscribing x
Another great blog. Not sure I’ll take up leg waxing or eyebrow perming (really? people do that?). Think I’ll stick with my low-maintenance regime. Male pattern baldness saves a fortune on products.
Author
Hahaha! Good point Jillx
This was so much fun to read, yes getting ready to go out certainly might be helped with a spreadsheet.
Author
HI Rosie thanks for your comment. A spreadsheet always helps 🙂 Jill x
Good post. Fun to read. There are so many fine looking ladies aged over 40!
Author
Hey Stuart, thanks for reading and commenting. Jill
Couldn’t agree more. Fine wine!!
So glad to have the mother I do- aging gracefully and full of self worth. She’s over 70, takes excellent care of her skin, no work done, doesn’t wear make up or dye her hair and her attitude is one I am glad to have grown up with as a role model.
Lol! I’m 52 and I find it so difficult to guess people’s ages nowadays! From the age of 30 everybody seems to blend in & look pretty much the same age! BTW I like your Madonna mantra – and I agree!
Author
Hey Linda, thanks for that. I am a couple of years older than you and agree hard to guess someone’s age. I guess at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter – it’s about attitude. Thanks for reading. Jill x
I agree with you about Madonna, and I think Helen Mirren looks beautiful. 🙂
Author
Hey Judy. Thanks for reading and commenting. Helen Mirren is just ageless. And comes across as strong, grounded and fun! Jill x
This was great bc I’m having a hard time accepting that I am 40. I don’t exercise and eat like I should and drink waayyy too much. I know that if I don’t start soon, I’m going to add 10 years to my looks. Great post! Thank you!
Wow, what a fantastic read. Found myself giggling all the way, you said it like it is. Excuse me, going to wax my legs and do some press ups!!
Author
Haha Cheryl. Thanks for reading and commenting. Great to head you had a good giggle. Jill x
A month into my forties and I read this with glee! I’m not in bed with a cocoa and a Mills and Boon just yet 😁
Author
Oh thanks for your lovely comment. Welcome to your 40s. A fun decade !! Jill x
Just hide other peoples glasses… then I look passable through a fog. *grins insanely* us of the third generation have a lot to live up to. When will we rest, give in, swear at passing youth, whistle at builders so at least someone under ninety notices you. Ahhh! eat breakfast all day wearing pajama’s and a tiara, stay up till three and watch second rate movies in bed while a cleaner sorts the house and laundry. That feels more me than war paint excersise and spanx. 😁😂😃
Author
Hey Ellen, love your ideas. Especially hiding glasses and whistling at builders! Thanks for reading. Jill x