4 MINUTE READ
Remember at school when you had a Best Friend (or BFF as they say nowadays). Mine was Karen Berry. We must have made an odd-looking pair – she was small for her age and looked like Snow White and all the boys liked her and wanted to carry her school bag. I was unfeasibly tall for a 10-year old, with a HUGE amount of bright red hair and freckles and didn’t look like any fairytale heroines. And I liked to hit boys with my school bag, as a sign of affection.
Karen and I would giggle and whisper as we discussed the merits of marrying David Cassidy vis a vis Donny Osmond (I still think Donny was a better bet) and if anyone tried to muscle in on our friendship we’d close ranks.
As I’ve…ermmm, matured I’ve realised it’s unrealistic to expect one pal to fulfill all your friendship needs and discovered how great it is to have a mixed bunch of friends who each bring something different to the party.
So here’s The Dream Team of Midlife Friends…
The Good Time Gal – the one you can tell ANYTHING to and no matter what the problem is, she’ll suggest Tequila as the solution. Never knowingly underdressed, she loves a bit of diamanté and spending time with her always makes you feel better. But sometimes you just want to quietly lick your wounds and then it’s time to pop round to see…
The Mum – the one you can tell ANYTHING to and she’ll pat you on the arm, make you up a bed on the couch, then bring you a tray with homemade soup & bread and a pot of tea & chocolate on it, and watch an old movie with you in silence. But sometimes you really want some advice, and it’s time to hook up with…
The Wise One – the one you can tell ANYTHING to and she will give you the benefit of her wisdom. Often it’s great advice. And often you take it. But sometimes you don’t want advice you just want to share a problem and that’s when it’s time to spill your guts to…
The One That Your Secret Is Safe With – the one you can tell ANYTHING to and she won’t ever bring it up again and will never ever share it with anyone, not even if she was being waterboarded. But the downside is she never gossips, which can be a bit boring…so then it’s time to catch up with…
The Gossip – the one you CAN’T tell ANYTHING to because she will immediately share it in a WhatsApp Group and hint about it on Facebook. But she’s great to shoot the breeze with and discuss who is doing what, with whom, and why they shouldn’t be.
So now that you’ve got that problem off your chest it’s time to spend some time with…
The one from the 1980s who remembers when you were The Queen of the Disco There’s nothing like having a friend who remembers when you were 18 and every outfit you wore featured leopard print and stilettos and you were in love with whatshisname – that guy who sang in that band.
The Coach – the one who pushes you to do things – go to the gym, cook a soufflé, learn Spanish, She emails you articles that might help and affirmations like A Mountain Is There To Be Climbed and hugs you as she tells you that you’re capable of ANYTHING and sends you an appropriate greeting card when you do SOMETHING.
The cool one who is fun to go shopping with. She reads Vogue and knows what Statement Sleeves are and will steer you away from that leopard print top and nudge you towards the Muted Mocha (THE colour of the season) one. She’ll give you a voucher for a makeup lesson as a birthday gift and suggest lunch in the latest bistro in town.
The one who shares your passion. NO!!… we are not talking threesomes!! This is the one will happily talk to you for hours about the thing you both love doing – whether it’s yoga, or mountain climbing or daytime drinking. At the moment I’m a blogging bore but fortunately I’ve got two new blogging pals – Naomi (The Naomi Narrative) is in her mid 20s and Joyce (Grandma Williams) is 83 and when we meet we can happily rattle on for hours about SEO and Widgets and Plugins and How to use Yoast (don’t ask me, I haven’t a clue) – which saves me boring the pants off everyone else.
And finally, there’s The Event Organiser. She can be a bit of a pain in the ass – always organising stuff and bossing you about and frowning if you’re late, and she always seems to be in the charge of the Kitty Purse and…oh!! I think that might be me.
So there you have it…The Dream Team of Midlife Friends. You might be lucky and have one friend (or partner) who fulfils a few of those roles but it would take one helluva gal (or guy) to fill them all.
Any gal pal archetypes I’ve missed?
What type of friend are you?
THE END
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I loved This! I sat here mentally assigning my friends to these categories!
Author
Hey Ritu… Thanks for that. It’s good to have a healthy mix 🙂 Jx
So I haven’t got to midlife yet, but it looks like I need to gather more friends to fill all these positions!
Author
Hey Lauren thanks for reading and commenting. One friend can fill a few roles 🙂 x
I agree… my gf fills all… hahah
😂…im thinking the same thing…
So true, I love your lists.
Author
Hey Rosie thanks for reading and commenting. Hopefully I’ve not offended any friends 🙂 Jill x
Interesting! I feel women can have more than types of friends!
Author
Hey there – thanks for reading and commenting. Good point! I’d love to read about men’s friendships. Jill
This is great, you’ve hit the nail on the head about the friendship types! It got me thinking about my fellow students on my course and there’s actually one we call “mum” as she’s very practical and makes sure people are where they need to be during the day!
Author
Oh thanks for that. A ‘mum’ friend is great – always looking after you 🙂 Have a good day x
Aw I love the ‘mum’ people. We all need them ❤
Author
Totally Gloria. Not matter what age we are. 🙂
I don’t think this is just for midlife. Really relate to this post a lot. I think I have friends who cover prettt much everything on this list.
Author
Hey Rachael I totally agree. Friends have been an important part of my life at all ages. Thanks for reading and commenting. x
Luckily my forever friend covers this list🙈 id have been in trouble if she didn’t 😊
Author
Haha. Yes it’s great when one friends covers off most of the roles. Jx
You know, guys also have this group of friends too and I wouldn’t trade them for the world!
Author
Oh that’s good to hear. And I was thinking you all just got together to shout at football (soccer!) 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting
I’m not entirely sure which category I fall into! I’ll have to check with my buddies lol.😂 We’ll have fun discussing this later!
Author
Ha! I think I fit 3 or 4 ! Meeting friends for lunch later so I’ll ask them. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Nice post! I, too was comparing my friends to the list. It’s so accurate! And I think you nailed it when you said that one friend can’t possibly give you every single thing you need. Makes sense to have a number of different besties.
Author
Hey Teresa yes having a mix of friends is fab. Cheers for reading and commenting
Another great blog, Jill. The only reason you didn’t look like a fairy tale heroine was that ”Brave” was still some thirty-odd years off in the future!!
The equivalent list for guys is:
1. The one who’s available right now to go for a beer
2. Err… That’s it.
Author
Haha. And yes the Brave girl with all that hair!! x
Great blog! About to share with my friends so we can discuss which ones we are. I’m just getting into blogging. This was an inspiration to keep going!
Author
Hey Barbara thanks for your lovely comment. I am quite new to blogging too – started earlier this year. There is SOOOO much to learn – my brain hurts sometimes:) I’ll check out your blog now. Jill x
Fabulous post, thank you. Could put a name of a friend to each type.
Author
Hey Cheryl – I’ve got some fab friends and they are a a mixture of these character traits. I am off to lunch now with 2 – who no doubt will ask which ones they are 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting. Jill x
I see Ritu was assigning her friends to the different roles I was going through thinking where do I fit? Do you think you are sometimes different roles with different people? Great post thank you.
Author
Hi Brenda, yes that’s so true.With some friends, I am the joker and others much more serious. I guess we are all made up of lots of different characteristics and they come out at different times. Thanks for popping on and reading. JIll
Of course the same person can fulfill different roles with different friends.
So ask EACH of your friends which type you are.
Author
Hullo and thanks for popping on and commenting. My friends have told me which ones they think they are 🙂 Jill
This made me laugh as I can think of a few friends and my sisters that fit into those categories. I am probably the type of friend that tries to give good advice, but can never practice what she preaches!! Thank God, I have my online blogging friends to talk to about blogging as none of my real life ones get it!
Author
Hi Judy thanks for popping on and reading. Yep, I am great at handing out advice – not so good at taking it! I am quite new to blogging and finding the support from other bloggers amazing. Cheers, JIll x
Don’t think we do this as guys. But I could sure use a few more “wise ones” in my little world 😉
Author
Hey Gabe, thanks for commenting. Guys seem to have a different way with friendship. Would make a good blog! Cheers, Jill
Most of my friends fit more than one category, but mostly ?I wanted to say… David Cassidy was the best 😉
Author
Janice!! How can you say that… Donny rocked! Don’t you remember Paper Roses 🙂 Thanx for reading and commenting Jill
Loved this look at friendship. I wouldn’t be without my girly mates, great post!
Author
Hey Caroline, me neither. Thanks for reading and commenting. Jill x
Love this! I can definitely fit various friends into your categories. I have recently had a 30 year school union and now a nursing friend is planning our 30 year reunion for the start of nurse training – whaat has amazed me is that despite having not seen some of these lovely ladies for years, the time just falls away and those old friendships just fall back into place. My daughter has a group of friends coming round this eve – maybe I’ll get the teens to see who they identify with the categories!!
Author
Hey Claire lovely to hear your comments. I love when you catch up with an old friend and it all falls in to place and there is something about working together that bonds you together. Hope the young ones identify (maybe not with the Tequila !!) Jill x
I have a few friends who head up several of these titles 😊 funny post love it
Author
Hullo! Thanks for commenting. Had fun writing this. Yes I’ve got friends in a few categories too. Jill
I agree with these! I think I’m the good time gal. LOL
Author
Good time gals are the best!! Thanks for commenting x PS had a look at your blog earlier. Loved it
Soooo spot on! Awesome summary and could assign each of those to my friends. Loved it
Author
Hey Mel, thanks for popping on and reading. My friends have been asking which one they are 🙂 Most of us are a mixture of different characters. Gal pals are the best! Jill x
Okay, I’ll admit that I’m not a midlife woman, but I still feel this holds true! Although right now, I don’t think I have anywhere close to 10 friends, but I definitely have some of these personalities in my life! Couldn’t live without them!
Author
Hey McKenna lovely to hear from you. I think a great gang for friends is vital at an age and I’m delighted you hear you’ve got that. Thanks for reading and commenting. Jill x I’ll check your blog out
Great post and I agree however I think friendships are harder to maintain as we get older. We lead busy lives and I think as we get older we get picky with who we hang out with. We are also less accepting of drama and toxic friendships. I sound like a right Debbie Downer lol!
Author
Hey Lucy, yes I think we do get fussier about who we spent time with when we get older. And yep no time for the Toxic ones! Thanks for popping on . JIll x
Ha I love this. We all need all of these types of friends. And I’m forever grateful for the event organiser friend!
Author
Hey Hayley Yes I can’t help but organise things!! Cheers for popping on and commenting. Jill x
I love this! When I left my marriage, and started to piece my life back together, I got a job in a conference and events office where all the girls were ten years younger than me. They all became my best buds but I automatically took on the ‘mum’ role and still do haha. I went from having three kids to an extended family of over ten!! x
Author
Hey Shelley lovely to hear your thoughts. I can morph between Event Organiser to Mum to Good Time Gal 🙂 Jill x
Yep I can count a few of these friend “types” in my collection of buddies – there are a few missing but I’m okay with that! Lovely to meet you through Big Up Your Blog – you’re certainly rocking Midlife Blogging judging from all the comments!
Author
Hey Leanne lovely to meet you and read your comment. I’ve signed up to follow your blog. Jill
What a lovely post Jill. It’s great to have a good network of friends each individual and as special as each other. 😉
Author
Hi Lorelle thanks for popping on and commenting. You’re so right a good network of friends is worth is weight in gold . Jill I’ll check your blog out shortly
This is brilliant and a great way of looking at friendship…thinking of which of my friends fit which category, really enjoyed the humour in it too!! thanks for sharing!
Author
HI Anna thanks so much for reading and commenting. Got all my friends guessing which one they are now 🙂 I’ll pop on to your blog shortly. Jill x
I started out strong, feeling good that I know exactly who each of my girls is… but then I got to the Wise One and realized I don’t have one. Holy shit, am I the Wise One for everybody else? We need a recruiting drive or something, because I need backup!
Author
Haha. Sometimes I think I might be the wise one and then I get worrie 😦 Thanks for popping in and commenting Jill
Loved this! Am gonna share with my friends to let them know which category they fell under. Perhaps sometimes it’s easier to just speak to Mum. 🙂
Author
Oh thanx so much. Delighted to know you enjoyed. Jill x
Aw! I’m lucky enough that my bestie does multiple of these things depending on the situation 🙂
Author
Hey Shelby thanks for popping by and commenting. Sounds the you’ve got a great bestie there. Jill x
I’m lucky enough to have a sister who is a combination of all (except gossip, which is good!).
Author
She sounds like a star. x
I wasn’t ever a gossip (I don’t think), but a I get older I know I’d be lousy as that friend because I simply don’t remember everything I’m told even when I want to LOL! Hopefully we’ve all got some friends who fill more than one role. I’m sharing this in a roundup to publish on 11-25-17.
Author
Hey Shelley. That’s funny. Yes remembering the gossip gets harder. Thanks for including in the round up. Can’t wait to see that. Jill x
This was a fun read…. lol… as ive mentioned… my bff is all of this so well into our midlife we have this aspect covered… woohooo… 🤗
Author
Thanx x
Ha ha ha,”I liked to hit boys with my school bag, as a sign of affection.”
You’re so right about different friends playing different roles. I, fortunately, have one VERY close friend who fits into multiple roles assigned above. But I do appreciate the ones in my life, close or otherwise. Such a wise yet fun list, Jill 🙂 I don’t know why I haven’t come across your blog before BUYB. Your humour is so effective!
Author
Hey Shailaja so great to ‘meet’ you and thanx so much for your lovely comment. Nice to revisit the old posts and yes, friends or all sorts are one of life’s delights. JIll x
What a great post! I agree with all of it and I love the fact that I have friends in each category. 🙂
Author
Hey Lisa thanks. It was a fun one to write. JIll x
Author
HI LIsa, lovely to read your comment. And fab to hear you had a great bunch of friends. A must for every gal! JIll x
I really enjoyed reading this! I don’t know if I have all 10 of these, but I do have some two for ones! Like my mom friend is also my wise one. Female friendships are so important (and male ones too). Just the chance to really be ourselves with others outside our spouses/partners makes such a difference I think. It takes a village!
Author
Hey Angela, lovely to read your comment. I couldn’t agree more and I so love that expression It Takes A Village. Thanks for swinging by and commenting. JIll x
Such a great list! I’m definitely the Event Organiser, and sometimes the Wise One… I definitely recognise the Mum and the Good Time Gal!
Author
I’m the event organiser too! Thanx for commenting. Lovely to hear from you. Jill x
Author
Yes think we are all a bit of a mixture. Thanks popping on and commenting. JIll
My ‘bestie’ fits most of these, thank God, but you DID miss one or two of her traits. She’s the friend I can’t say ‘no’ to (except when it’s illegal), and the one that I love teasing because she not only takes it well, but her initial reaction is as incredulous as I am! If there’s anything more, she’ll, that’s why we have psychiatrists.😄
Author
Hey Melanie she’s sounds like a great friend to have. And yes I forgot to add in that haveing a psychiatrist on speed dial would help 🙂 Jill